Whiskerburn Sloopscuttle & Vintage

Remember the days when cars had faces and style?

2011-12-18T13:14:00.000Z

One parked outside every bank,

The E-Type - more bonnet than car.

Thunderbirds, eat your heart out.

Lizard-wings over the rear lights.

Hedlamp covers abounding.

The Gawp-Gobbed Four-wheel Thingy

The Triumph Stag - style on a stick.

As a kid I used to know every detail of every car off by heart from engine details to performance and boot size. Now I can barely tell one from another. Progress - pah!

But soft, what cake through yonder window breaks?

2011-11-26T09:13:00.000Z

But soft, what cake through yonder window breaks?
It is the hurried brekkers, and carrot is the recipe.
Arise, fair cake, and kill the envious coffee,
Who is already sick and cool with grief
That thou, her maid, art far more fair than she.

Asylum! The Owl Wood Publications on Kindle & "other" eBook thingy.

2011-11-17T10:44:00.000Z

eBooks. Hah. They'll never replace the proper book-book but they do work rather well. You don't need a Kindle thing either - if you're reading this on a computer of some sort then there's a nifty little FREE and untroubling Amazon application that you can download in a few seconds - use your computah as a Kindle.

The good part about that is - you can also get most of the well-known classics like Treasure Island and Frankenstein and Shakespaddle's plays for FREE and read them all over again.

Asylum! What is that exactly? Well, it's the antithesis of the old classics - heavy it ain't, full of plot it ain't, full of giggles it is. Asylum! is the first of a series of the The Owl Wood Publications with a cast of animal characters who are more human than humans, living in the real patch of woodland in Lincolnshire, a patch that in real life is set aside for owl use and owl use only. This opening salvo sets the scene with two elderly dogs of adventurous waistline running away from an uncomfortable home to begin a new life.

In the next episode, due out in the last week of November, and abruptly titled "Yule pause and Frosty Claus" we see Christmas cancelled, reinstated and transported back to the days when it was an oasis of love, fun, childhood treats, silent nights, snowfall, tinsel and dodgy gifts wrapped up in the best of intentions. A secret candle-lit wood where animals eat, drink and are largely merry, a secret candle-lit Christmas where sleighbells can be heard ringing in the burned-out looted wreckage of the Christmas delivery van...

Asylum! 001 - universal PDF version available here. (No "account" or anything silly needed, secure online with automated download to your pc)

Asylum! 001 - Amazon Kindle version available here. (All of the familiarity and security of buying from Amazon, either for your rinky dink Kindle device or for your pc, all automated).

Up Aviva's Creek without a paddle

2011-11-15T15:43:00.001Z

I got some post today. It was from one of five pension schemes I have paid into over the years. It is three sheets of very expensive-looking very glossy ~~toilet paper~~ paper. Apparently seven new funds have been added to the choices available for investment and please to decide how to apportion percentage investments in each unless Sir is already in the self-selection pre-2009 fund in which case to go to the interwebnet site and download the green form instead.

I now have to tell them exactly what proportion of my eight pounds seventeen shillings and sixpence pension fund I want invested in each of:

The Diversified growth portfolio
The Fixed Income portfolio
The Cash portfolio
The Global Equity Active portfolio
The Global Equity Passive portfolio
The Schroder Diversified growth fund
The Diversified Strategy Fund
The Artemis UK Special Situations Fund
The Black Rock Aquila UK Equity Index Tracker
The Artemis Global Growth Fund
The First State Global Emerging Market Leaders Fund
Property (this one sounds too simple)
Index-Linked Gilts
Jupiter Ecology
Sustainable Future Managed
HSBC Global Amanah
Invesco Perpetual income (sounds too good to be true)
Blackrock Aquila US Equity Index Tracker
Blackrock Aquila Pacific Rim Equity Index Tracker
Blackrock Aquila Japanese Equity Index Tracker
Blackrock Aquila European Equity Index Tracker
Blackrock Aquila Emerging Markets Index Tracker (no "equity" in the title)
Investec Emerging Market Debt
M&G Strategic Corporate Bond.

Point is - points are - a., how the hell would I know and b., if I did know then I'd be a flaming Merchant Banker up to my nipples in un-earned bonuses and c., why am I paying them one or one and a half percent in fees if even they can't tell me where to put my pathetic little fund?

Over the past five years their entire input has been to reduce my "pile" to several thousand below what it was five years ago. Great investment! Why do I feel like I am being stitched up yet again and that at some point in the future a Merchant Banker is going to be laughing with a politician in a bar about how we "were given the choice"?

At the moment I am leaning towards 99% in "Jupiter Ecology" - an off-planet investment has to be safer than something left in the hands of Earth bankers, surely?

The new iVintage application for those with the latest Apple cranial implants.

2011-10-11T09:13:00.001+01:00

I got the distinct impression this morning that [with the exception of soul-stealing camera apparatus, contrivances and equipment] technology is passing me by. Every button I clicked on in my Twit-Google-Two-Faced-Book-LinkedIn-Blogger invited me to "upload a photo from my phone" or somesuch.

My phone is bakelite. My mobile is a brick. I think the mobile can do those "text messages" but the last time I tried it was in 1912 just as my cabin on the Titanic sank below the waterline ('BY-BY MMMY THRLL ALWYS BE AN ENGLND. TRY 2 GT A RFND ON TH FARE'). I live in the countryside and am on something known as "The Virgin Network" which means that my putatively mobile phone only gets a signal when I am in a densely populated area where I don't need a mobile phone - and only then if I climb a lamp-post and wave the plug-in aerial in a South-by-Sout-Westerly direction.

Today I shall mostly - in celebration of the dull, grey skies - be applying saddle-soap to my bellows, wax to my mahogany and a little WD40 to my brass bits. Herewith an uplifting image of "Woody", henceforth to be known as "iWoody". Not a pixel or an electrical wire in sight. Happy daze. Tomorrow I may polish my chrome, blacklead the crackle-finish on the nineteen-thirties machines and iron my velvet dark-cloth.

iWoody. The only app you need.

Changes are afoot @ Whiskerburn Sloopscuttle & Vintage although I think they're much longer than that.

2011-10-01T08:16:00.000+01:00

Exciting times! We're getting a chap in to handle our PR.

Well, strictly speaking he already works in the company but Mr Sloopscuttle is now the official Director of Public Relations for Whiskerburn Sloopscuttle & Vintage.

Sloopscuttle; an avatar for our times.

Welcome!

Damned dust and infernal combustion in Aby, Lincolnshire.

2011-09-13T11:15:00.001+01:00

Up at the ruddy crack of breakfast this past Sunday and dressed long, long before luncheon. Some sort of display of 'orseless 'orses bein' ridden around the village, they tell me these devices are powered by petroleum spirit or something. Fairly fond of a spot of Jura, even a Speyside or a Drumguish but never tried Petroleum Spirit. Must be some new Johnny-come-lately distillery.

Anyway, dashed things gort up to some ridiculous velocities but I managed to persuade one of the indoor silver-polishers or nostril-hair pluckers or whatever - some sort of flunky, anyway - to pop ight and try usin' his new "camera" thingy. Awfully clever, uses bits of glass and brass and such to produce some quite convincin' sketches of the action. Could have done with him at El Alamein. Still, mustn't grumble.

Anyhoo, these chaps from the Banovallum Motor-Cycle Club just sort of went rind and rind in large circles for a few hours and then they all disappeared out of sight and, well, presumably fell orf or something. Lots more new-fangled images of them here on this "Social Networking Interwebnet Site" whatever the hell that is.

Ruddy flunky's sellin' 'em at a quid a pop on this other thingummyjig - Whiskerburn Photography. 'Parently one has to go to "view one's pictures" and then "sports and events". Now, if you don't mind one's orf to view one's pictures in the library, there's a particularly dodgy Vermeer in there that I want to stare at for a while before someone comes to tell me me bath's ready. Chin chin.

A ceremony with a difference or two.

2011-09-10T08:38:00.000+01:00

Jen and Chris at Threekingham.

An incredibly rainy Sunday at Church Farm Museum, Skegness, with The Knights of Skirbeck.

2011-09-05T15:41:00.000+01:00

To mark and celebrate the re-opening of the fire and water-damaged cottage at Church Farm Museum the Knight of Skirbeck held court over the past weekend.

A jester, a juggler, a roast chicken and some swordplay to entertain H.M. Public.

Always a great laugh and a great display!

Many thanks to the staff and exhibits of Church Farm Museum for their kind hospitality and use of their horse.

Making abstract photographs with cold steam, hand-held electro-luminescence and 30-second exposures in the withdrawing room.

2011-08-30T15:50:00.001+01:00

A few more here.

The important thing to remember is to never let the steam-pressure in the triple-bolted Ohms-Volting Reservoir fall below the standards required of any Englishman under similar circumstances. Other than that I can only recommend that you keep a decent claret and a sturdy manservant in the room with you at all times, just in case the reciprocity factors exceed safe levels or the telephone apparatus "rings". Oh - and cake, cake is most important, preferably something moist such as Iced Bangalore Berry Cake or Wimpole's Non-Claggy Chocolate Minted Medicinal.

Splendid pastime, splendid.

Fringe Moggy with a shine on top, NOT in Surrey.

2011-08-29T18:11:00.000+01:00

Recreating the look and feel of period car brochures, here is a fantastically well-kept Morris Moggy with a shine on top. The only thing not done here is to make the vehicle look longer, lower and wider the way they used to in the line drawings in those days, before lying in advertisements had to be hidden behind paid-for surveys and statistics!

From the days when a "crumple zone" depended on the thickness of your woollens, anti-lock brakes were supplied by the waggle of a chap's ankle in a panic and double de-clutching still featured in the English language...

Harvest 2011 in Aby, Lincolnshire.

2011-08-22T17:02:00.001+01:00

The weather has finally allowed the neighbours to get to the fields where the Banovallum MCC Enduro will be held in a couple of weeks time.

When it's not been under torrential rain the countryside is a bit of a dust-bowl. Nowt in-between!

More photos to follow when I've developed the films!

Vintage by Hemingway Festival - Southbank London - New Era Cap Co. Splendid!

2011-08-04T08:32:00.000+01:00

Just spent a fantastic three (long, long) days at the Southbank Centre in London photographing customers in snazzy nineteen-thirties outfits for NEW ERA CAP Co. who were showcasing their EK range of period-inspired headgear... Thank you guys for the incredibly friendly welcome - and all of the fun - and much ta too to the customers for being such great sports!

The costumes were phenomenal, the atmosphere electric (fabric-covered, old-cable style electric - none of your modern 240 volts nonsense)!

Banovallum MCC Enduro at Minting, Lincolnshire Sunday 17th July 2011

2011-07-18T16:43:00.000+01:00

The images from the Enduro yesterday are available as a slideshow from

here

and to download and print from the Whiskerburn website here. Follow the link to "view your photos" and it's in the Sports section.

Some things they don't tell you when they ask you to cover an enduro race.

2011-06-20T19:04:00.002+01:00

It's incredible fun.
It will rain.
... and rain.
That isn't mud, it's mostly clay.
Wellington boots leak, hiking boots leak.
Farm flies like to sit - wave a hand at them and they just reach out to shake howdy-do.
It will rain.
You have to walk the course at least once before the race and two or three times during it to swap shooting locations & backgrounds. Courses are miles and miles and miles long and go up hill, down dale and through the village of The Damned.
Using cameras in rain-hoods may be fine but using cameras in rain-hoods when your specs are also covered in rain isn't easy. There is no hat in existence that has a brim but will also let you put a camera to your face.
The rain-hoods you pack will NOT be the type that accommodate flashguns (and because it's so dark in the wooded parts of the course you'll need your flashgun).
It helps to be part mountain goat and part Olympic swimmer because the competitors will be using the tracks - you'll have to move around using ditches and edges of fields made from soggy clay.

It's still incredible fun.

Full album of images available at main website here.

Banovallum MCC Enduro 8th May 2011 at Ashby Puerorum in Lincolnshire

2011-05-10T11:19:00.000+01:00

Fantastic event (again) at Ashby Puerorum, Lincolnshire, thanks to the hard-working organizers of Banovallum MCC!

The other 400 images are online for viewing, downloading and print-ordering at the main Whiskerburn website (click there, or click here).

The Knights of Skirbeck at Church Farm Village museum, Skegness.

2011-04-20T09:30:00.001+01:00

Ah, the clash of blade upon blade, the thudding twang of arrow into fleshy target, the screams of the captive blood-sucking medical lychees* in their jar - such is breakfast at a Knights of Skirbeck event before the show opens to the public.

Rarely before (except perhaps in my parents' taste in home decoration) have periods as diverse as medieval (Henry IV Bolingbroke, early 15th Century), 18th century museum displays, 19th century steam traction and late 19th & early 20th century cameras been gathered in one place so successfully.

Have-a-go archery combined fortuitously with had-a-go medical care, sword-play combined with the age-old mysterious English practise of Tea-Drinking and Cake-Eating.

A splendid weekend was had by all and, so long as no-one digs anywhere near the Summer House, there are unlikely to be any subsequent insurance claims or criminal charges.

* I think they were lychees, they were a touch rubbery - they may have been beyond their best.

The Banovallum MCC Enduro at Manby Motorplex, Sunday 10th April 2011

2011-04-11T09:37:00.000+01:00

... and I couldn't be there! I was at The Vintage Wedding Fair in Leamington Spa...

It was a fantastic, very busy, very long day, with a veritable elegant stampede of vintage brides, grooms and mothers-in-law, and lots of bookings - does anyone know where I can get a two-days to a day diary please? Alternatively, I need to get myself cloned so that there are two (or more) Vintage Photographers!

We were also treated to the most fantastic stage performance by The Polka Dot Dolls!

I hope that they will forgive me for hijacking one of their website photos but really, if you need a trio for your event, occasion or whatever, these ladies should be your choice! Book them if you can, while you can and get ready to boogie!

Banovallum MCC Enduro 03/2011 at Ashby Puerorum

2011-03-22T12:32:00.000Z

Photos from the Banovallum MCC Enduro on the 20th of March 2011 at Ashby Puerorum are now online here (195 photos) - I hope you like 'em!

Don't know about the competitors but I had a great day, in spite of sinking up to my knees in a boggy bit. I missed all of the early action in the really muddy part before the marshals quite properly diverted the event!

South Kyme May Day Festival 2011

2011-03-16T12:46:00.000Z

Whiskerburn Sloopscuttle & Vintage Photographer are proud to be sponsors of the

South Kyme May Day Festival

More fun in one place in Lincolnshire than you could shake a small but muscular hedgehog at.

Medieval re-enactments by The Knights of Skirbeck

Quintain demonstrations from Northcote Heavy Horse Centre

Narrowboats by the dozen from Sleaford Navigation Trust

Live music

14th Century Tower open (finally - they've been building it for 600 years)

Hi-tech gadgets - the Johnson Standard Exposure Calculator.

2011-03-07T16:13:00.000Z

This magnificent beastie is manufactured from "Ivorine" plastic and cost the princely sum of four shillings and twopence including purchase tax when new.

Forget all of your fancy light meters and nonsense - check that you are in the northern hemisphere, then dial in the type of scene you are photographing, turn the beastie over and then dial for date, time, film speed and your assessment of the weather - and Bob's your Aunty's window-cleaner.

It really works - and I use it a lot!

Vintage Photographer: Old-fashioned cameras - Modern Expertise.

2011-01-29T10:29:00.000Z

http://www.vintagephotographer.co.uk/

All of the theatre and all of the real photography, available as a fixed-price stand-alone add-on or in conjunction with any Whiskerburn Sloopscuttle photography service!

I did something this morning that I haven't done since Tudor times.

2010-12-21T08:31:00.000Z

Almost - almost - a senile lion (a selenelion) except that the sun didn't show up on time in my part of the world.

I stood in a white and frozen Lincolnshire field watching a total eclipse of the moon.

At the start of the Winter Solstice.

Whoo et le Hoo.

As the eclipse happens only then do you really see the man in the moon, the crescent face. Somehow the outer rim is brighter, the centre seems more three-dimensional and the features stand out. The dark portion of the moon - with a ruddy lava glow from my viewpoint - becomes an obvious sphere instead of a disc. As the eclipse happened the crescent face seemed to grow old and hunch over, become the features of a wizened little old man. Magical.

Next total eclipse of the moon Ireland 2015 but you'll have to wait a long, long time to see it while the sun also creeps over the horizon...

Whiskerburn Sloopscuttle 2011 Brochure online version.

2010-09-24T14:05:00.000+01:00

It's groovy, it's electric and the glossy printed versions are stuck in a Post Office sorting shed somewhere near Gatwick... or Birmingham or somewhere sticky...

Open publication - Free publishing - More whiskerburn

Thank you Isis for allowing me to show these!

2010-09-22T08:31:00.001+01:00

One of the things Whiskerburn Sloopscuttle does not do is to use a Bride's photographs on our website or in our publicity material - but Isis very kindly offered to allow me to use these - thank you! The day was fabulous and the lovely wedding theme very organic "Scarborough Fair" - and Isis you looked stunning. Thank you again for standing in the blazing sunshine - we could have done with a stray oak tree in the middle of the field for shade, but the breeze was pleasant! The Romance? Well, that was all down to Isis & Tim!

Sixty-one years married and still looks fantastic in her wedding dress!

2010-09-01T18:24:00.000+01:00

Our competition to find the longest-married couple who can still fit into their wedding outfits has a winner!

Phyllis and Jack have been married for sixty-one years!

Poor old All Saints Church at Saltfleetby.

2010-08-14T07:29:00.004+01:00

When we went in to do one final look around yesterday before this weekend's cancelled photoshoot the whole church seemed very much less happy with itself. The tower has always had a significant lean but cracks that were present have widened since my last visit, new cracks have appeared and there was fresh dust and plaster scattered. I took some very swift photos of the damage for the Churches Conservation Trust and then rang them and emailed the evidence (shortly after renewing my respect for our local boys in blue).

All of the cracks (and their echoes) are in a pattern focused on the leaning tower. There is now a gap at the roof apex adjoining the tower where four or five inches of daylight may be seen. Plasterwork and small debris was also scattered over the altar at the far end of the church, presumably where the roof timbers had been gradually tugged where they join the far wall. I realise that the place has stood for eight hundred years but this recent change means it just wouldn't be safe without seeking an expert opinion first.

Heartfelt apologies to my customers: The Churches Conservation Trust; Age UK; Love Tiaras; Cute Little Cars; the winners and entrants in the longest-married couple who can still fit into their outfits Competition and to our magnificent models.

A huge vote of thanks also goes to Elaine, for the vast amount of work she has done in preparing and organising the practicalities of the shoot, the wardrobe, the props, the models and the catering. Sorry Elaine!

The weekend will be rescheduled, hopefully at this venue once a survey has been completed but if not then at a venue to be announced...

Current leaders of the longest-married local couple (who can still fit into their wedding gear) are:

2010-08-06T15:39:00.000+01:00

Trudi and Darryn Johnston:

One week left to enter, folks! Email for how and win your wedding photos re-taken over the weekend of August 14th & 15th, in church, by me...

Adam Shereston - Horse Whisperer

2010-08-06T13:30:00.000+01:00

Never seen a horse whisperer at work before but it was amazing. Adam Shereston spent Thursday 5th August 2010 at the Northcote Heavy Horse Centre nr Spilsby in Lincolnshire - and I was asked to photograph the day.

Adam could have made any of the horses dance a waltz if he had wanted to. He could stop, start, make walk, trot or gallop any horse with just a look and a slight change in his body-language. Bear in mind that these weren't your regular wee horses, these were heavy horses (what used to be called "shire horses").

It was an amazing day and he has promised to return next year!

One wedding, two fire engines and three police cars...

2010-07-28T11:30:00.002+01:00

It's amazing, isn't it? You no sooner arrange to meet the CURRENT reigning champions in our competition to find the longest-married couple who can still fit into their wedding outfits than someone dials 999.

Traffic grinds to a gridlock halt, access to the building is taped off and guarded by Police and the Fire Service, the lights go out and word is passed around that evacuation of the area is imminent. So, herewith one hurried shot of "Couple X" in their original wedding gear after NINE YEARS of happy marriage.

Have you been married longer than NINE YEARS? Can you still fit into your wedding gear? If yes then enter our competition to win your photos being re-staged and re-taken on the weekend of August 14th & 15th at Saltfleetby All Saints. If you would like your photos taken or re-taken anyway then email or call and we'll do the business for just £24.95 (for six poses and prints) with all net proceeds going to Age UK.

Many thanks to the Louth newspapers for turning up and completing the interviews in spite of the action outside, we look forward to the articles in next week's papers!

Bridalwear & Men's Weddingwear photoshoot weekend 14th & 15th August, N.E. Lincolnshire!

2010-07-21T13:09:00.004+01:00

Saturday August 14th and Sunday August 15th 2010 is shaping up to be a fantastic weekend!

Bridalwear photoshoot for local businesses
Men's Wedding Wear photoshoot
Fabulous "Wedding-on-a-Budget"
Retro style wardrobe available
KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOUR!
CHOCOLATE-BOX SCARLET TUNIC SOLDIER GROOM!
Two national charities involved
Local Press in attendance
Fund-raiser competition to find longest-married couple

and... the best news is, since we have the fantastic 700 year old church for the whole weekend, we can probably still fit you in!

Email, ring or message us us for details.

We have some limited availability for local bridalwear suppliers - get your range or even an individual dress or outfit photographed on location with all of our props for just £49 an hour! Imagine your website, leaflets and advertising with these images...

Ladies - Gents - ever fancied being photographed with or wearing any of these outfits? How about retro clothing from the decades around WW2 as a look? Individual portraits or even your whole wedding photograph set taken or re-taken for just £24.95 with all net proceeds going to charity.

MODELS! Contact us and we can put you in the picture! Literally so - imagine your portfolio with fabulous wedding wear, bridal dresses, retro & nineteen-forties clothing, SHINY ARMOUR and SCARLET TUNICS! Models male and female, just email for freebie opportunities or contact us via FACEBOOK.

The venue is near LOUTH, Lincolnshire.

Photography exclusively by Whiskerburn Sloopscuttle.

Is it serious, Doc? Medieval Day at Northcote Heavy Horse Centre, July 2010

2010-07-04T19:57:00.000+01:00

Doc, it's sort of a stabbing pain just here...

Weapons, I'll show you weapons...

Quintain and earth-shaking.

Another brilliant fun fund-raiser day at the Northcote Heavy Horse Centre near Spilsby in Lincolnshire, England. They hold several throughout the year - you still have a chance to meet, greet, hug and nuzzle a heavy horse.

Facebook album here (more to follow asap)

Lincolnshire Show June 2010 Shooting the Knights of Skirbeck in the Medieval Village Display

2010-06-25T22:19:00.001+01:00

Spent a great couple of days at the Lincolnshire Show photographing the Knights of Skirbeck's Medieval Village among all of the other pomp, ceremony and circumstance of the show from unbelievably cute ponies to huge farm machinery - and massive crowds. Sweltering weather, pig racing and acres and acres of attractions - plus the escape of half a dozen of the hounds from the hunt combined to add to the fun.

Public Facebook album here.

Do you know about life inside an ecclesiastical kaleidoscope? I do! Fortunately the Bride & Groom I do'd too!

2010-05-29T12:20:00.000+01:00

Working inside the church at yesterday's wedding (and congratulations to you-know-who-you-are!) was like spending time inside one of my favourite childhood toys - a kaleidoscope. The sun blazed down and lit up the stained glass windows brilliantly - a little challenge to make sure that the lovely Bride didn't end up with one blue eye and one red or vice versa. A rainbow across the dress, colours twinkling through the tiara - fine, a rainbow across the mascara - noooooooo!

...and the prize for the most waves from an entry goes to...

2010-05-25T08:39:00.000+01:00

One from the vaults!

2010-05-17T20:25:00.000+01:00

Banovallum MCC Enduro May 2010 Photographs now available...

2010-05-13T16:26:00.001+01:00

Many thanks to Richard & Josephine of the Banovallum MCC for letting me run about over the Manby Motorplex Enduro course on the 9th of May 2010.

386 photos of the event can now be viewed, downloaded and/or printed by clicking on the following links:

Click here for an online slideshow

Click here to go to whiskerburn.tradebit.com where all of the full print-sized files are available for immediate 99p download

Visit the main whiskerburn photography website and select Sports & Events if you would like any professional quality prints

The filenames displayed in all three locations are the same for each photo so that if you've found it once you can find it again elsewhere. BMCC05MMXnnnn - the first part stays the same, just note the last four digits. If you experience any problems please just email or msg me.

I apologise to anyone who took part in the events but who doesn't appear in these photographs - catch you next time! Maybe at the next event we'll have mud and sunshine instead of overcast and cloudy.

Banovallum MCC Enduro at Manby Motorplex 9th May 2010

2010-05-09T21:52:00.002+01:00

Variety being the spice of life - and of a rural peasant photographer's happy lot, I spent a(nother) ridiculously fun day today at the Manby Motorplex doing my level best to not get run over during the Banovallum MCC Enduro. The photographs will take a couple of days for me to get online (have to do full and total justice to Maggie & Joe's fantastic wedding from Saturday first - first in first out, naturally). Here are a few samples from the Enduro in the meantime:

I can't guarantee to have caught everyone during the event but over the course of a few you should all be in there. Many thanks to Josephine & Richard for the welcome!

Fashion Show shots from Crystal Wedding Fayre's event at Lucarly's.

2010-05-03T22:44:00.000+01:00

I was in an arty mood!

The dresses, the suits - and most of all the models were fantastic!

More in the Weddings & Ceremonies gallery ("View your pictures") at the Whiskerburn website.

or on Facebook!

Come and see us Sunday 2nd May 2010 at Crystal Wedding Fayre's event at Lucarly's, Humberston

2010-04-25T16:29:00.000+01:00

We would love to meet you! Turn up, walk in and look for the big blue banners with me underneath!

The event on Facebook

Crystal Wedding Fayre's website

Lucarly's website

Our website!

Lots to show you, lots to talk about!

PRICE LIST 2010

2010-04-23T17:12:00.002+01:00

Fantastically popular "RETRO" range of albums

2010-04-22T13:21:00.003+01:00

Our range of retro-style wedding albums are proving very popular this year. They pay lip service to the style of album customers during the nineteen-fifties, nineteen-sixties, seventies and even eighties would have been familiar with: slip-in mounts; photo-corners holding separate professional lab prints; "Glassine" sheets between the pages (that's like a cross between rice paper and baking paper). They're all professionally hand-made in England too.

They are available in a choice of cream or black and, depending on style, hold between thirty and a hundred 10"x8" prints or a larger number of smaller variations. Optional nameplates can add distinctive individuality to the covers too. Prices range from £80 and, for example, an album complete with with 30 10"x8" prints is £150. The difficult choice is whether to fill them with all black & white, sepia, full-colour or a mixture of photos!

Since most of the styles come in a family of sizes - why not treat yourself and your loved ones to all variations?

Mirror, mirror, on the Honda - aren't I just the fairest of them all? Tweet, ruddy tweet?

2010-04-17T12:30:00.000+01:00

Isn't Nature great? Yeah, right. This noisy little flying rat (technically it's probably a Lesser Herpes Eagle or a Rotating-stomach Golden Gannet or something) has fallen in love with its own reflection in the windows and wing mirrors of my niece's car...

... and, my goodness me, isn't he just leaving a trail of "happiness" and scratches and tweeting for the world to let us know it?

Pass me the shotgun and a box of cartridges, Claudette...

Lincolnshire Greyhound Trust, Normanby Hall, March 2010.

2010-03-30T18:58:00.001+01:00

Click here for a few photos on Flickr of the fantastic Lincolnshire Greyhound Trust walk at Normanby Hall, Sunday 28th March 2010.

Normanby Hall resounded to the patter of greyhound paws! Hundreds of them!

Isn't it amazing how domestic dogs can supplement their own diet?

2010-03-29T14:25:00.000+01:00

I thought that Hound 1 was making those slobbery-slurpy-chewy noises that so often spell t.r.o.u.b.l.e.

Sure enough, on closer inspection, a blood-covered snout and one (remaining) rat under her in the dog-bed. Trouble is, next door have been putting down rat-poison...

... which means I shall have to poke Hound 1 with a stick at regular intervals to check whether she's already eaten a poisoned carcass. Ho and hum.

Rat's in the bin, dog bed's out in the rain and Hound 1 is in the euphemistic dog house.

A Lesser-Buttocked Throckmorten's Dweep!

2010-03-27T17:14:00.000Z

Dinosaurs aren't what they used to be (thank goodness, otherwise we'd need a bigger feeding table).

Toad proof rabbit-fence...

2010-03-22T07:47:00.000Z

Just tripped across this glum little guy. He was patiently hopping up and down waiting for the rabbit-proofing at the bottom of the garden gate to rust away so that he could go on his way down the lane. Given the elementary level of his road-safety knowledge I made him do a U-turn and go back from whence he came, away from the tarmac. Do toads say "Ribbit"?

Next creepiest scarecrows. These look like survivors from some eco-disaster. They beckon...

2010-03-21T10:24:00.000Z

As with the others below, these are best appreciated at dawn, dusk or during inclement driving conditions...

Spring, springing?

2010-03-04T12:11:00.000Z

These little buggers are springing up all over the place, mostly outside and at ground level. At the moment they're about six inches tall but then, that's how Triffids start off too, isn't it?

Neighbour's creepiest scarecrows ever...

2010-03-02T13:44:00.002Z

A neighbour has installed what have to rank as the creepiest "scarecrows" (more like "scarepeople") you could ever hope to trip across while walking the dog one misty moisty morning or at dusk, just as the owls start to hoot in the gloom and the shadows...

... although these startled deer were a bonus:

or, just possibly, they are the cleverest place ever to hide half a dozen bodies...

Prized Ladybirds.

2010-02-26T08:11:00.000Z